


daughter

by accioharry



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bellamy is a dad, Bellarke, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Kid Fic, Madi Ships it, mama bear clarke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:13:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26521954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accioharry/pseuds/accioharry
Summary: She could hear her mom’s voice in her head, walking her through the shock just as she walked other women through it on the Ark. The missed periods, nausea, the fatigue…She’s pregnant with Bellamy’s baby.or, bellamy and clarke sleep together the night they create the list of who goes into the bunker. three months later, clarke is pregnant, alone, and one of the last survivors on earth.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Monty Green/Harper McIntyre
Comments: 86
Kudos: 490





	1. already gone.

**Author's Note:**

> okay SO, i've been writing this for a while. I've debated on how often i want to write this, so far the inspiration has been pretty steady, but that could change super quick. obviously this is going to be ANGSTY all over, so rip in advance, i guess? also idc what anyone says the show ended at s6 anyways!!!
> 
> also i had daughter by sleeping at last on repeat because it just reminds me of a bellarke baby okay hence the title of this fic, and each chapter will be titled by the song that inspired me the most for that specific chapter!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> edit oct. 2020: i took out the taylor swift chapter titles, it wasn't working with the rest of the fic so i decided to title each chapter based on a song from my playlist for this fic!
> 
> this chapter's song: already gone - sleeping at last.

She realizes it twelve weeks after the end of the world, after the end of everything.

Clarke knew something was wrong, she just didn’t know what. She felt nauseous for weeks, couldn’t keep food down (she barely could find food as it was), and honestly just felt terrible. At first, she thought it was part of the radiation exposure, considering it almost killed her when she tried to save her friends. The problem was, instead of adjusting to the exposure, her body just felt worse and worse as each day passed. She’s washing some clothes in the river not far from the valley when it hits her.

Her friends left months ago, she should’ve gotten her period multiple times by now. She didn’t. The first time had to be from radiation exposure, but the second? The third?

Her hand drops the shirt she’s holding into the water as she holds her stomach, her breath escaping her.

_No, there’s no way. It was one time, there was no way…_

She could hear her mom’s voice in her head, walking her through the shock just as she walked other women through it on the Ark. The missed periods, the nausea, the fatigue…

She’s pregnant with Bellamy’s baby.

* * *

_“This is ridiculous. I keep making these radio calls thinking you’d hear me, but now more than ever I really need you to listen, okay Bellamy? I think I’m pregnant…well I know I am. It’s hard to tell how far along…but at least twelve weeks give or take. Jesus Christ, we’re having a baby, and you aren’t even here. How am I gonna do this?”_

* * *

Of course, Madi is overjoyed at the thought of Clarke having a baby. It’s been just the two of them for a little over a month now, and she’s picking up english a lot quicker than Clarke expected. Though she’s only six, she understands that soon there will be a little baby around. She flips through Clarke’s sketchbook before her bedtime in a cabin in the little village Clarke found, and Clarke can’t help but glance to the empty space across the room, a space that will hold a handmade crib in a few short months. She’s terrified of doing this alone, without Bellamy, without her Mom.

Madi talks to Clarke’s stomach every night, even though there is no sign of a bump yet or at least an actual baby bump. Clarke plays along with the excitement for Madi’s sake but finds herself crying every night after she tucks her into bed.

* * *

Bellamy and Clarke slept together the night they made the list of the ones who would make it into the bunker. It was a one time, just because the world is ending, type of thing. Except now, there’s a physical, lifelong memory growing inside of Clarke. She’s alone, has no doctor, no medicine, and no idea if the baby is even healthy. She just has to wait, and hope her body does what it’s supposed to do.

* * *

She starts showing at around fifteen weeks.

The bump is still pretty small, but enough that Madi notices. She’s working on copying sentences Clarke had written for her when she notices.

“Baby!” She gets up and points to Clarke, who’s cooking dinner. She runs over and puts her hands on Clarke’s stomach. “I see the baby!”

Clarke looks down at her, at this wild child that she’s come to adopt in the last few months. Madi’s excitement about having a baby almost takes the fear of losing Bellamy away, almost. She smiles and runs her hands through Madi’s hair.

What Madi doesn’t know that after Clarke put her to bed, she went out of the village and screamed into the rain, her hands cradling her tiny bump as she fell to her knees. “Please,” she sobs, “I can’t do this without him.” She sits there in silence, letting the rain wash over her. “Please don’t make me do this alone,” she whispered, because maybe, just maybe, he was still alive.

She never gets a response.

* * *

They start the nursery towards the end of Clarke’s second trimester.

She’s worried about so many things, the birth going wrong, the baby not making it, the baby not having nightblood—even though it should. There’s too much stress, and having a distraction makes it a little easier. She moves herself and Madi into a bigger cabin further into the valley, a cabin that has three rooms instead of just one. She’s decided eventually she will change all the cabins for her friends, but that’s for months, maybe years after the baby is born.

There’s no way for Clarke to know the gender of the baby because there’s no way to do an ultrasound. Madi is convinced the baby is a girl and has started throwing names out there, mostly names from the stories she’s heard. Clarke can’t bring herself to come up with a name, boy or girl, because that just makes it feel real.

They use berries to paint the wall of the nursery where the crib will go. Surprisingly, Madi knows more than Clarke expected from the seven-year-old. Her birthday was a few weeks ago, and all she wanted was to meet the baby. She was more excited than Clarke and was fearless about it. They find a crib in another empty cabin, though run down and falling apart. It doesn’t take long to fix it, and Madi puts it under a window in the nursery. She also brings clothes and toys from other parts of the village that had yet to be explored. There isn’t much, but it’s enough.

* * *

Clarke goes into labor as soon as she hits 38 weeks.

She’s sitting on the floor, sketching a picture of the baby’s nursery, when she feels the flood of water from between her legs. She tries to stay calm, knowing Madi is asleep down the hall in her own room, but by that morning, Clarke is having her first contractions.

Madi is up by dawn as usual, and she remembers everything Clarke had told her. They had prepared a corner of the cabin for labor, with pillows and blankets and other towels. Clarke refuses to sit there until she knows it’s time to push, which wouldn’t be for a few hours. She spends the day on the couch, timing contractions with Madi, who has decided to write it all down on a page in Clarke’s sketchbook. Madi brings her water and sits with her, but she’s restless and impatient. For once, Clarke agrees.

The baby is born shortly before dinner.

It’s a long thirty minutes of pushing, screaming, and crying from her and Madi until they both finally hear the tiny baby cries they’ve waited six months for.

“It’s a girl!” Madi squeals.

She’s got the baby in her arms, and Clarke tears up at the sight of it. In an instant, Madi grew up before her eyes. She hands the baby to Clarke before cleaning her off with a towel, and Clarke smiles at the big brown eyes staring up at her, Bellamy’s eyes.

She walks Madi through clamping and cutting the cord, even though Madi is scared that cutting it will hurt the baby. Clarke manages to push the placenta out, much to Madi’s amazement. She was so worried Madi would be grossed out, or worse, terrified, but the little girl just watches the baby in amazement as it holds onto her finger.

* * *

Clarke recovers in her bed that night, the baby sound asleep in her lap after feeding. She’s shocked that everything went well, that the baby looks healthy, it’s latched with no problems, and Madi was such a trooper.

She looks over when she feels the bed dip to see Madi crawling up to her.

“Did you name her?”

“Not yet,” Clarke mutters, passing the baby to Madi. She gently rocks the baby in her arms before leaning against Clarke herself.

“I have a name,” Madi whispers, and Clarke chuckles.

“Oh do you?” She knows Madi has wanted to name the baby Octavia for months now, even if it was a boy. Clarke considered Octavian for a boy’s name, but that’s all she had come up with.

“Athena,” Madi says, giggling as the baby grabs her finger again. “We name her Athena because Bellamy named Octavia after Augustus’ sister. Athena could be similar to Augustus, maybe?”

It really isn’t, but the sentiment behind it makes Clarke love it even more. Madi has grown into her own person in just the eight months Clarke has been with her, it’s amazing.

Clarke kisses the top of her head, pulling Madi closer to her. “How do you remember that?” Clarke asks.

“I just do,” she shrugs. “So can we?”

Clarke stares at her daughter for a moment. She’s awake now, watching Madi intently with her brown eyes that have the same intensity as Bellamy’s. She wants to honor Bellamy, knowing there’s a good chance her baby will never know her father. She wishes she could share this moment with him, for him to see the miracle they created. He’s not even on the planet, maybe not even alive. Clarke feels her heart break. “Yeah,” Clarke whispers as Athena falls asleep in Madi’s arms. “We can name her Athena.”

* * *

_“Bellamy, if you’re alive, I did it. I don’t know why I always question if you’re alive, it doesn’t make this much easier. But I did it Bell, I gave birth today, and she’s perfect. Yeah, she’s a girl. Madi wants to name her Athena for you, and I really couldn’t argue with her. She’s got your eyes and I wish you could see her, see both of them. I did the math today, she’ll be a little over four years old when you meet her and Madi will be eleven. If there’s any chance you hear these, and can’t answer, I’ll tell you all about her, about both of them, every day until you get here. I promise.”_


	2. safe & sound.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, their little family wasn’t complete without Bellamy and her friends, but it was something. It was enough for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im so sorry this took so long! i had it written but just didn't feel as though it was good enough, but eventually i told myself to get over it and here we are, after i finally edited it! i feel like it's a bit rushed, and i want to do more flashback scenes as we go, but i know we're all dying for bell to see his baby!! anyways, enjoy!
> 
> edit oct. 2020: i took out the forklore chapter titles, it wasn't working with the rest of the fic so i decided to title each chapter based on a song from my playlist for this fic!
> 
> this chapter's song: safe & sound - taylor swift

Clarke manages to get a lot done in Athena’s first year.

She starts to work on the cabins a few months after the birth, but saves Bellamy’s for last. She can’t bring herself to pick one for him. She knows Madi wonders why she’s doing this when they have no way of knowing any of them are alive, but Clarke just knows it’s something she has to do. She wants to be selfish and put Bellamy in the cabin with her and the kids, but that would be awkward after five years and a one night stand gone wrong. She decides to put him next door, knowing he might want to be close to Athena when he finds out, because he’s already missing out on so much, and there’s still physical boundaries between her and him. He might not need that after five years, but Clarke will.

Madi spends most of her time with Athena when she’s not doing lessons. Clarke thinks it’s adorable how close the two of them have gotten since Athena arrived. Though she was still little, it was easy to see how much that baby adored Madi. It reminded Clarke of a young Bellamy and Octavia. Her heart stung at the thought.

She comes in from tending to the garden to see Madi leaning against a pillow on the ground, Athena babbling away in her lap. She should scold her older daughter for keeping the baby up well past her bedtime, but it’s what Madi is showing her that makes her stop in her tracks.

It’s her sketchbook.

“That’s your Aunt Octavia,” Madi points to the book on the floor, ignoring that Athena was more interested in the toy next to her. “She’s in a bunker underground, but we get to go see her in a few years when you’re older.” She turns the page and Clarke hears her talk about Jasper, Monty, Harper, Emori, Murphy, everyone.

“That’s your Dad,” Madi whispers, adjusting Athena in her lap so the baby can look. Athena reaches towards the sketchbook, but Madi knows better than to let her near something she could easily destroy. She hasn’t figured out crawling yet, but she was close. “Your Dad is up in space, really far away from us,” she hears Madi whisper again. “He lives up there because it’s not safe for him yet like it is for us. But one day, he’s going to come back in a rocket ship and never leave us again, that’s what Clarke says.”

Clarke has had conversations about the possibility of her never meeting Bellamy, and she thought Madi accepted it.

“I guess there’s no point in lying to you,” Madi continues as Athena pulls on her hair. “There’s a chance your Dad isn’t here, or in space, and there’s no way for us to know until he gets here if he ever does. I like to think he will because otherwise I just get sad, and I don’t want you to be sad either, okay? I’ll keep you safe.”

Clarke has to step outside so Madi doesn’t hear her crying.

* * *

Madi turns eight before Clarke even realizes. Her birthday is a couple of months from Athena’s, meaning it’s been nearly a year since Clarke gave birth. Her baby looks more like Bellamy with each passing month, the brown hair and brown eyes are a dead giveaway. Athena smiles a lot, crawls, and is even pulling herself to stand.

“Clarke, look!” Madi comes out of her room, Athena on her hip. Clarke looks up from the table where she was sketching a picture of the two of them. Madi sets Athena down on her feet before allowing the baby to grab her fingers. Hesitantly, Athena takes a couple of steps towards Clarke, babbling away as though she’s having a regular conversation.

“Bub!” Clarke drops to her knees as Madi brings Athena near. She lets go when Athena is right in front of her, and Athena takes one step on her own before she tumbles into her mother’s arms.

“Does that count?” Madi has been trying to get Athena to take her first steps ever since she saw Athena first stand a few weeks back.

Clarke almost says no, because technically it doesn’t, but it’s the happiness in Madi’s eyes that change her mind. “Yeah, I think we can count that,” she says and laughs when Madi’s shrieks of delight and skips around the room make Athena clap her hands, as though she understood what got her older sister so excited.

No, their little family wasn’t complete without Bellamy and her friends, but it was something. It was enough for now.

* * *

_“You won’t believe this, Madi helped Athena walk today. She’s ten months and ready to go take on the world, she must get that from Octavia. I told Madi it counted as her first steps, and her face was so happy, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her smile so big. Gosh Bellamy, both of them are getting so big. Athena is almost one…but it’s one year closer to you meeting her, to meeting both of them. Madi is already eight, and she’s doing amazing at telling Athena about you, I wish I had the strength she had.”_

* * *

Athena is a little over a year old when she says her first word.

Madi had taken it upon herself to become the baby’s personal cheerleader, trying to get Athena to say “mama” whenever the baby babbled in Clarke’s presence. Clarke had told Madi not to worry, that Athena would talk in her own time, but Madi was stubborn, just like her mother.

It happens early one morning after breakfast. Madi is doing school work, a set of math problems Clarke wrote out for her while Athena plays on the floor. She’s walking well at this point, so Clarke took it upon herself to baby proof the room as best as she could.

She hears Athena’s tiny footsteps before feeling her daughter tap her leg. She looks down to see Athena smile, her arms reaching up. Clarke picks her up and puts her on her hip with one arm, the other one goes back to putting up the pictures she recently took out of her sketchbook. Madi made the decision to put artwork up in their house, and Clarke realized she had a point, the house did seem a little empty.

She’s taping a picture of their garden when Athena wiggles, turning to a picture a few feet away.

“Dada!”

Clarke freezes. She looks over at her daughter, then follows her eyes to see Athena waving at a picture Clarke had drawn of Bellamy. The same picture Madi often showed her in the sketchbook.

“Dada!” She says it again, and Clarke hears Madi push her chair back before her older daughter sprints across the room to her.

“She said a word!” Madi is beaming, even more than when she thought Athena took her first steps a few months ago. Her dark hair is falling out of the ponytail Clarke put it in, but her blue eyes are brighter than she’s ever seen them.

“She said Dad!”

“Dada!” Athena wiggles again, and Madi takes her from Clarke, who is frozen in place. There are a few things that have shocked her over the years, but hearing her daughter, her baby reference Bellamy as her Dad might make the list.

Madi holds her up to the picture, and Athena puts her little hands on Bellamy’s face. “She knows Clarke!” Madi laughs. “She knows who Bellamy is!”

Clarke smiled, forcing herself to agree. She was thrilled that Athena recognized her father, but her mind started to wander three…four years in the future, when Athena would inevitably start asking questions about when her Dad is coming home, and Clarke wouldn’t have any answers.

* * *

_“Bellamy, if you can hear this. Athena said her first word today, and it was you. Well, not exactly, but Madi has been telling Athena who her Dad is, and she’s gotten ahold of the drawings I’ve done of you, and now Athena says Dada, and it shatters my heart. God, I wish you were here._ ”

* * *

_“Bellamy, it’s been over five years now. You should be here. The kids are asking questions, well, mainly Madi. Athena doesn’t really understand, she’s only four. I try to tell her her Dad is coming, but I think she doesn’t believe you are real. She only knows Madi and I, and I worry about when she sees you. When you see her….”_ Clarke fumbles with the radio control when the static gets too loud, she doesn’t want to wake the girls. _“Anyways, it’s finally green here, and the rest is desert for miles upon miles. So aim for the one spot of green and you’ll find me, I guess. Sometimes I forget you were real, that you are real. Just come home soon, okay? I’ll be waiting.”_

Somewhere, millions of miles away, Raven leans back in her seat, shock evident on her face as she replays the message again.

_“Anyways, it’s finally green here…”_

Murphy stands up, turning the radio off.

“She’s still alive, we have to get down there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, we're time jumping already! like i mentioned earlier, we will get much more backstory of clarke's life and athena's early years as we go, but i want to quickly mention that raven and murphy only heard the second part of clarke's message, in case it wasn't clear because i know the wording is a bit odd. so all they know, is clarke's alive, but you'll see what happens in the next chapter!


	3. find my way back.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their laughter fills the village, and a part of Clarke knows it might be best if Athena never meets her family at all. Her innocence is unlike anything Clarke ever experienced as a child on the ring, unlike anything Madi experienced in the early months of Primfaya. 
> 
> It’s a fine line between keeping Athena in this imaginary world Clarke has created or sacrificing it to bring everyone home. 
> 
> She already knows her answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter had me...a sobbing but it's fine!!!! im fine!!!! also i stopped watching the show (obviously after jroth killed bellamy) and the spoilers i read for the finale? literally how was that written anyways!!! enjoy!!
> 
> edit oct. 2020: i took out the taylor swift chapter titles, it wasn't working with the rest of the fic so i decided to title each chapter based on a song from my playlist for this fic!
> 
> this chapter's song: find my way back - eric arjes

Clarke learned early on that Athena hates sitting still.

She’s doing schoolwork with both girls, Madi, now twelve, working on more complicated reading passages while Athena, now four, works on spelling her name.

“Can I do her work?” Madi teases. Madi has been really into mythology lately, especially learning about her baby sister’s namesake. Surprisingly, Clarke found a copy of the Odyssey, no doubt Bellamy’s, in the back of the rover.

She didn’t tell Madi that she spent hours sitting at the river, carefully reading page by page as though it would bring her closer to what she lost. Afterward, she tucked it under her bed and it sat there for years until Madi found it a couple of days ago.

“No,” Athena scrunches her face up, and Clarke does her best to ignore how much she looks like her father when she does that. Her hair is long enough that Clarke can pull it out of her face, and her wavy curls are a strong reminder of where she comes from, of who she comes from. “I can do it by myself.”

“That’s right,” Clarke laughs. “Let’s trace over your name okay? I wrote it here,” she hands Athena a paper with her name on it. The four-year-old grips her pencil with concentration. If anything, she gets the determination from both of her parents, even if she only knows one.

“See Mama? I did it just right,” she announces proudly, lifting the paper to show Clarke. To be fair, she did write her name, just not in the perfect lines Clarke had been trying to get her to at least try.

“No, you didn’t,” Madi argues, and Athena’s mouth falls open in offense.

Clarke takes the paper before her girls start another useless argument. “That’s enough,” she says firmly, and though it isn’t harsh, it gets both girls’ attention. She gives the paper-back to Athena, who starts to slowly trace on the line. The arguing is annoying for sure, but it does get Athena in the mindset of proving her big sister wrong. When she was like this, Clarke figured she was looking at a younger Octavia, who was no doubt the same way as her niece.

Clarke gets up to check on the meal she’s preparing, leaving her two daughters at the table. The village is nice this time of year, the natural light helps the berries and other plants grow, making a beautiful space to live in. Clarke wants to share this with Bellamy, with all of her friends, but she hasn’t even made the trip to the bunker yet. She doesn’t know how to get them out, if she even can, not without help, and she won’t let Madi go with her, let alone Athena. Every night Clarke looks for a sign of the ring, but there’s nothing, and she finds it easier to believe that maybe they never made it in the first place.

She looks back at her girls. Athena is holding her paper in her hand, shoving it in Madi’s face as though she finally did it right. Their laughter fills the village, and a part of Clarke knows it might be best if Athena never meets her family at all. Her innocence is unlike anything Clarke ever experienced as a child on the ring, unlike anything Madi experienced in the early months of Primfaya.

It’s a fine line between keeping Athena in this imaginary world Clarke has created or sacrificing it to bring everyone home.

She already knows her answer.

* * *

Bellamy refuses to listen to the radio call.

It’s been five years since Clarke died, and it’s shocking enough to know that she could have survived for a period of time. He doesn’t need a reminder of her voice to remind himself that he left her behind.

“Bell,” Raven leans on the table across from him. “I’m telling you, that call was live. She’s alive.” Frustration is evident on her face, knowing how stubborn the man across from her can be once he’s decided on something.

“Don’t kid yourself,” Bellamy sighs. “It’s been green down there for years, we’ve stared at that same patch for who knows how long. It’s an old transmission that finally got through.”

“Seriously?” Murphy scoffs. “Where’s the optimistic Bellamy Blake we were all forced to follow up here?”

“He’s dead,” He stands up abruptly. “When we get down there, we’re going to find nothing.” He turns to leave the room. “It’s better if we prepare ourselves now.”

“He’s in denial,” Emori says, coming in and sitting next to Murphy once Bellamy leaves the dining area. “He’s just not the same person anymore. None of us are.”

“Well yeah, that’s what happens when you lose the love of your life,” Murphy shrugs, before rolling his eyes at the look Raven gives him. “Okay Reyes, you know it’s true. Those two were heading in that direction before the Apocalypse screwed us all over.”

“Doesn’t mean Echo needs to hear you say that,” Emori nudges her boyfriend. “Anyways, if you’re right, which you normally are,” she laughs at the triumphant grin on Murphy’s face. “Do you have any idea how we can get down there?”

“I’m working on it,” Raven sighs. “Regardless, we better hope we land on the green, or near it, because we’re only going to have one shot.”

* * *

“Tell me a story,” Athena says as Clarke tucks her into bed. Madi had already gone to sleep a little over an hour ago. Clarke ponders for a moment, sitting on the bed.

“Which story?” Athena shrugs, scooting farther under the covers.

“Any story,” she giggles, but Clarke knows her child is just trying to get out of bedtime. That little smirk comes straight from Bellamy, and she hates him for it. Athena has gotten away with a lot of mischievous things because of it over the years.

“Once upon a time, a little girl named Athena went to sleep when her mama told her to.”

“That’s not a real story,” Athena narrows her eyes.

Clarke stands, kissing her daughter on the forehead. “I love you lots, princess.” She brushes the hair back out of her face. She’s had Athena for over four years now, and she still gets a pain in her heart whenever Bellamy’s eyes meet her own.

“Love you mama,” Athena yawns, rolling over and clutching the stuffed bunny to her chest.

Clarke goes to the door before blowing out the candles providing light.

She stares at her youngest child and wonders how she got so lucky. Her daughter is all Bellamy, without him even knowing. Her baby’s laugh, her personality, it’s just all her father, the father she doesn’t believe exists. At this point, she thinks Bellamy is a story. Clarke sighs before retreating to her own room as well.

Perhaps it’s better if it stays that way.

* * *

It was a rough landing, and Raven wondered if she was sending all of them to their death as they plummeted to Earth. They landed quite a ways from where they planned, but they were on Earth.

“We’re back bitches!” Raven opens the hatch and laughs when Monty and Murphy push past her to dive into the grass.

“The sweet smell of allergies, how I’ve missed you,” Murphy says.

They all pile out of the craft, Harper, Raven, Echo, Emori, and finally Bellamy.

“See, told you she could do it,” Harper elbows Bellamy, who scoffs.

“I never doubted her,” he counters, but Raven’s raised eyebrows tell a different story.

“Where do you think she is?” Monty stands, grabbing his pack from the small wreckage caused by their abrupt landing.

“This patch of grass is…huge. I didn’t think there would be anything left,” Bellamy wonders aloud. He wants to let his mind drift to Clarke, who could be safe and asleep somewhere she’s called home for years. But his head knows better, he can’t let his heart win this battle.

“Let’s start moving, we got hours before daylight.” Raven shoves Bellamy’s pack into his arms, knocking him out of his trance.

“Lead the way Reyes, but I call dibs at the first river we find,” Murphy smirks.

* * *

Bellamy wonders when they’re going to stop walking.

It’s nearing daybreak, the birds, or what’s left of them, are beginning to chirp as the sunlight breaks through. They’ve walked for hours, and his feet are going to fall off.

“Do we have any idea where we’re going?” He huffs in frustration.

“I read the map thousands of times Blake,” he hears Raven a couple of feet ahead of him. “This patch of grass is huge, it’ll take days to search it all.”

“Wait,” Monty stops, who was taking the lead. “What’s this?”

Bellamy pushes through his friends to get through to the front. A small wooden sign, completely run down with bugs, was lying a few feet away from where they were walking.

“Does it say anything?” Harper asks.

“I can’t make it out, it’s decayed too much,” Monty replies. “But this means we’re going in the right direction, especially if this was an indication of a local village nearby.”

“Let’s move,” Raven says. “It can’t be far from here.”

* * *

They find a village about an hour later as the sun begins to rise. It’s stunning, a valley in the middle with cottages everywhere. There’s a working fire going in the middle, with a clothesline nearby.

Bellamy’s heart skips a beat.

This wasn’t an abandoned village after all.

“Clarke!” Raven yells, pushing her way forward. “Clarke, are you here?”

“Look,” Emori points to a cabin near the end. The curtains are rustling, and a pair of hands come to the window, as though they are peeking to see who’s outside.

“Someone’s here,” Bellamy reaches for his gun at his waist. “Stay sharp, we’re invading their home.”

“Shut up, shut up shut up,” Raven smiles, completely ignoring Bellamy and running forward as the door opens.

His mouth goes dry, his hand frozen on the holder of his gun because standing before him in that doorway, was Clarke Griffin, and she was alive. It feels as though time stopped when he saw her. Her blonde hair is shorter, and he realizes the big shirt she’s wearing over a pair of leggings belonged to him over five years ago. He watches as she takes in each one of them, but her posture changes when she sees Bellamy, her hand falling to her stomach.

He looks away.

“Clarke!” Raven pulls her down the stairs, crushing her into a hug. “You did it! We did it!”

Harper and Emori run forward, and Bellamy can barely see Clarke’s blonde hair under the mess of limbs.

“Move it or lose it,” Murphy grumbles, pushing the girls out of the way. “Told you she’d live,” he nods to Bellamy before giving Clarke a fist bump.

Monty is next, crushing Clarke in a hug that could surely leave bruises. Echo gives her a nod, nothing more, not that anyone expected anything.

“You…you’re alive?” He didn’t realize how much he missed her voice until he heard her speak, her voice soft and full of wonder. “All of you?” She looks up at the sky. “After all this time, I just assumed—”

“Yeah,” Raven nods, cutting her off. “We’ve been living it up on the ring for years, and then we heard the radio—”

Clarke freezes.

“You…you know about the radio calls?” She stiffens, her gaze falling in complete shock to Bellamy before she composes herself.

“Uh no…we heard the most recent one, about the patch of grass? That’s all we could get, it took me five years to get the damn radio to work again,” Raven shakes her head, and doesn’t notice how Clarke visibly relaxes.

“I can’t believe you guys made it,” Clarke shakes her head. “There’s so much to do…so much to say, I don’t even know where to start.” She runs her hands through her hair, and Bellamy realizes he’s never going to be able to say a full sentence again considering he can barely look at her. It’s as though he’s looking at a ghost.

“I didn’t even hear you guys break the sound barrier, or even land.”

“Um, how about you start with this?” Murphy gestures to the village around him. “This is insane, Clarke. Did you build it all?”

He never gets an answer from her, because behind Clarke the door to her cabin creaks open. Bellamy watches as a young girl, no older than twelve, slowly peeks her head out, shock evident on her face.

“Clarke?” her voice comes out timid, waiting for confirmation.

“Hang on, who’s the hobbit?” Murphy asks.

“Madi,” Clarke breathes. “It’s okay, it’s safe.” Bellamy watches as the girl, Madi, slowly comes out of the cabin. She’s dressed similar to Clarke and seems as though she’s just as surprised to see them as they are to see her.

“This is Madi,” Clarke says, taking her hand. “I found her about…two months after Primfaya. She was alone, and barely six years old. It took time, and a bear trap, for her to come with me. But she’s been with me ever since.”

“She’s a night blood,” Raven realizes, and Clarke nods.

“Clarke,” Madi whispers urgently, tugging Clarke’s hand towards the cabin. Clarke shakes her head, almost as if to say, “not now.”

“It’s nice to meet you kid,” Murphy smiles.

“You’re Murphy!” Madi beams, shocking them all. “I…Clarke’s told us stories about you.”

“Madi, can you go inside and make sure…make sure we have enough breakfast for our friends? I think…” but Clarke trails off when the door opens again, and now Bellamy’s convinced he’s truly lost his mind.

A tiny child steps out, clutching a stuffed animal to her chest.

“Mama?”

Bellamy watches her as she looks at the adults standing before her. She looks almost identical to a young Octavia, he thinks. Her dark hair is pushed in her face as though she just woke up, and she’s got part of it in her mouth. When he looks at Clarke again, he can tell she’s gone visibly pale, as though she’s going to be sick.

Her eyes meet his.

“Oh god,” he hears her mutter.

He opens his mouth to say something, anything, but Harper beats him to it.

“Did you find her with Madi?” She asks, smiling at the little girl. She’s always had a soft spot for the kids both on the ark and on the ground.

“No…” Clarke shakes her head, her eyes never leaving her daughter. “I um,” she takes a breath. “Athena, come here, it’s alright sweet girl.”

Bellamy’s world shifts on its axis. There’s only one reason Clarke would ever name a baby after a Greek myth, and the hair, the eyes…her age.

He can’t breathe.

He watches as Clarke’s daughter comes down the stairs and Clarke picks her up. It’s natural, watching her be a mother. She whispers something to her daughter before she hides her face in Clarke’s shoulder, evidently too shy to say anything more.

“I had her…here…after Primfaya,” her eyes meet Bellamy’s once more, and that’s all the confirmation he needs.

Clarke’s holding his daughter, their daughter.

He can’t move, he can’t say anything. He can only watch as one by one, the rest of the group looks at him.

“Does this mean we get to call Bellamy ‘daddy’?”

“Shut up Murphy!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldn't decide who tells murphy to shut up at the end, so i left it up to interpretation! anyways next chapter will be angst and angst and angst! hope you enjoyed this one! also find me on tumblr at accioharry!!
> 
> p.s did anyone see the endgame reference??? i had to im sorry


	4. we are broken.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She knows Bellamy is smart and knows the meaning of Athena’s name was no coincidence. Their daughter was a near-perfect combination of the two of them, name included, Clarke just hoped he’d see it just as she had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hello here is the long awaited chapter of bellamy finding out about his baby!!!! i wanted this to be perfect, and it isn't, but that's okay because i really want to keep going on this fic and get to athena meeting bellamy (i may have that scene written out already!). anyways, enjoy! 
> 
> edit oct. 2020: i took out the taylor swift chapter titles, it wasn't working with the rest of the fic so i decided to title each chapter based on a song from my playlist for this fic! 
> 
> this chapter's song: we are broken - this, the silent war

“I knew it,” Raven claps her hands, looking between Bellamy and Clarke. “Oh pay up,” she turns and points to a grumbling Murphy. “I fucking knew they did it eventually!”

“Wait,” Echo pushes forward. “She’s yours!?” She points to Athena, looking at Bellamy.

“It was a…one time thing,” Bellamy struggles to find his voice. This is…not what he was expecting. He watches Clarke’s eyes narrow at Echo, her grip tightening on Athena. Even though it’s been five years, he knows that look on her face, and he winces internally. A defensive Clarke is an angry Clarke.

He probably shouldn’t just stand here like an idiot, but he really just doesn’t know what to say.

“Let’s just…take a walk,” Bellamy turns to Echo. “I need to…figure this out.”

“What’s there to figure out Blake?” Raven turns towards him. “It seems pretty straight forward if you ask me,” she shrugs.

“This isn’t your business!” He snaps but stops when he sees Madi flinch next to Clarke. It’s almost as though the presence of the kids snaps Bellamy back into any sort of rational thought that may have left him. “I need…I don’t know what I need,” he waves the group off, dropping his pack and turning into the forest, Echo following close behind.

“That’s not what I expected,” Madi muttered, gripping Clarke’s hand. “Is he always that angry?”

“He’s not angry,” Monty tried to reason. “He’s just…shocked, that’s all. He’ll be back, he just went to figure things out, he does that a lot.”

“Okay,” Harper claps her hands together. “We have a lot of things to talk about, and wondering about Bellamy isn’t going to fix any of that. So let’s just focus on getting some breakfast?”

“Right,” Clarke clears her throat, setting Athena down on her feet. She buries her face into Clarke’s shirt, not letting go. “I swear, she’s never like this,” Clarke shakes her head.

“She’s never seen anger,” Madi crosses her arms. “He scared her!”

“Stop that,” Clarke cuts her off. “He didn’t scare her, she’s shy, and it’s going to be fine. I don’t want you worrying about it, understand?”

“But—”

“Madi.”

“Fine, but in your stories, Echo wasn’t with Bellamy,” she huffs, crossing her arms.

“That’s…” Raven trails off, clearly holding back a laugh, “not important. What’s important is eating breakfast and exploring this cool place of yours!”

“I’m sure we have plenty of food to go around,” Clarke chuckles. “I’ll start breakfast, and then Madi can give a tour. She’s been waiting to do that for years.”

* * *

Clarke isn’t used to being around her friends anymore. Her cabin could easily accommodate everyone, but her friends were so excited to be on Earth and outside again, she didn’t want to take that away by having everyone eat inside.

Madi helps prepare berries, and Clarke finds her already bonding with Harper and Monty, wanting to show both of them all the plants she’s found over the years. She also hears her mention she’s glad she never had to have any algae.

Athena isn’t terrified, but she isn’t thrilled either. She’s next to Clarke as they eat on the front steps of the cabin, slowly picking at the berries on her plate. Clarke knows her daughter well and knows she really wants to get to know these new people around her, but she’s hesitant. She’s uncomfortable and Clarke can’t blame her. She hasn’t been able to eat anything herself since her friends arrived, and especially since she saw Bellamy take one look at their daughter and leave. Out of all the versions she’s created of this moment in her head over the years, never did it cross her mind that he would walk away.

“Hey,” she looks up when Raven sits down next to her on the porch steps. “I think Murphy and Emori are going to go down to a river Madi mentioned earlier if you want the kids to go with them.”

“Madi will,” Clarke chuckles. “I don’t know about this one,” she nods to Athena. “She’s never seen this many people in her life, and she’s not a strong swimmer yet.”

“Poor thing,” Raven mutters. “It reminds me of what Bellamy told me about Octavia’s childhood, she was sheltered from everything.”

“You’re right. I should’ve told him privately, and I didn’t think it would just come out like this. I just wanted him to know her, I was so excited for her to know him, I never thought—” Clarke feels the panic creeping into her veins, what if Bellamy wanted nothing to do with either of them?

“Clarke,” Raven puts her hand on Clarke’s leg, stopping her from getting lost in her own mind. “It’s not your fault Athena wanted to see what was going on outside. Bellamy just needs time, this is huge for him. He thought you were dead, I mean really dead. He learns you’re not, you’ve been alive all this time, and that you have a kid together. It’s a lot for anyone to take in.”

Clarke glances at Athena. “She’s already had her whole world flipped upside down, she doesn’t even know what’s going on. I just want to protect her, both of them.”

“I know you do,” Raven pauses for a moment. “Look, I don’t want to bring it up but…once this is all settled, we’re going to have to figure out what to do about the bunker.”

“I know,” Clarke nods in agreement. “There’s no way for us to open it on our own, but we don’t have a choice. I’ve made the trip down there a few times over the years, but not since Athena was two or so.”

“There’s always a choice,” Raven replies. “You need to make the choice to focus on your daughter, on both of them. Bell will come around when he’s ready, you know that.”

Clarke smiles softly, laughing when Athena looks up, her face now covered in squished berries. “I just want them to have each other,” she mutters. “What if that’s too much to ask?”

“It’s not,” Raven says. “Just focus on the girls, I’ll handle the bunker plans, and as for Echo—”

Clarke scoffs. “I really don’t care about Bellamy’s love life on the ring,” she laughs, even when Raven raises her eyebrows, as though she doesn’t believe her.

“I guess we’ll come back to that part of the conversation,” she mutters. If there’s anything Raven’s missed over the last five years, it’s Clarke’s ability to dodge any sort of conversation regarding her and Bellamy’s “platonic” relationship.

* * *

“Clarke!” Madi comes bouncing up the path, Murphy, and Emori trailing behind her.

“Can I take Murphy and Emori to the river? I promise I won’t jump off the high rock again,” she huffs, stopping in front of Clarke.

Clarke pretends to ponder for a moment, a smirk already on her face. “No jumping off any rocks, you understand?” When Madi nods, she looks behind her at Emori, who gives her a reassuring smile. “Okay, fine,” she laughs when Madi cheers.

She stops when she sees Bellamy coming back into the valley. She watches as his eyes stayed glued to Athena, totally oblivious to everything going on around her as she plays with the berries left on her plate. She feels the need to shelter her, to protect her, but it feels wrong to protect her from her own father.

“Take her with you though,” she nods to Athena, helping her up. “And maybe wash her face while you’re down there, please?”

Madi quickly looks back at Bellamy before she nods, taking the smaller girl’s hand.

“I don’t want to hold your hand!” Athena grumbles, pulling away from Madi.

“Too bad,” says Madi. She tightens her grip on Athena’s arm, and Clarke rolls her eyes at the drama of it all. Where Athena got her dramatic nature, she would never know, but probably Octavia.

“I’ll go too,” Raven stands, realizing this a moment she probably doesn’t want to be in the middle of. “We can bring Monty and Harper too, does that sound fun?” She asks Madi, who grins when Raven messes with her hair.

Bellamy stays silent when he approaches the group, but is only acknowledged by Murphy, who gives him a curt nod. He waits until the group is out of earshot before he clears his throat, looking at Clarke. She’s wiping tears with her sleeve, evidently just as uncomfortable as he feels. She stands up, crossing her arms.

“Where’s Echo?” He hears her ask, and he falters for a moment. He expected her to be upset with him for leaving her and Athena behind, for not fixing the radio quick enough, anything.

“She’s still in the forest, I told her I needed to come talk to you,” he replies.

Both of them are silent for a moment.

“God I never thought this would happen,” she mutters, turning away from him, putting her face in her hands. She can’t look at him, not after everything. She saw him every day through Athena for the past five years, but seeing him older, wiser, alive even, it’s too much for her.

“What?” He finally finds his voice. “That I wouldn’t…come back?” He can’t bring himself to step towards her, the mother of his child, his best friend, his first love _(like he’d ever admit that out loud)._ “Clarke—”

“I had hope, I did, especially for the kids, for Athena,” she shrugs. “I had a feeling though, especially when five years came and went and you didn’t come back.”

“Her name,” he changes the subject to what they’ve been avoiding. “It’s from mythology, the goddess of wisdom…and war.”

“Yeah,” Clarke clears her throat and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. She knows Bellamy is smart and knows the meaning of Athena’s name was no coincidence. Their daughter was a near-perfect combination of the two of them, name included, Clarke just hoped he’d see it just as she had.

“Madi named her, actually. She really wanted a mythology name, for you.”

“For me?”

“I…I told her stories about all of you, her bedtime stories you know? She knew all of the myths, the ones I could remember anyway.”

“So you probably told them wrong,” Bellamy chuckles and Clarke rolls her eyes, chuckling softly.

“I did my best.” She sits back down on the porch steps. “I guess…well we know she’s yours.” She looks up at him, at the brown eyes she looked into every day for five years whenever Athena looked at her. Her heartaches, this is actually happening. “I wouldn’t drop this on you if she wasn’t, obviously.”

She scoots over to make room for Bellamy to sit, and he does. He ignores the feelings in his stomach about being so close to Clarke for the first time in half a decade, a girl he thought was dead, who had been raising his child on a planet without him.

“I don’t know what to say,” he rubs his hand on his face. “God Clarke, you had our kid? When did you even find out? How did you even know?”

“I was raised by a doctor, remember?” She smiles. “I was at least twelve weeks when I figured out. I was so scared that she wouldn’t make it…with the radiation exposure and…being alone. It was…terrifying.”

“You did it though, you gave birth to a baby after the end of the world,” he says in awe. He’s always been in awe of her, of her strength and courage, but now it had definitely gone up.

“I spent…so long wondering if you’d get to meet her, to see her. She’s so much like you Bell, every time I look at her I just…I saw you, and it broke my heart that you didn’t know.”

He nods, silence filling the void between them. He can hear laughing in the distance, no doubt Madi, Athena, and their friends finding some sort of crazy thing to do.

“I wish I knew,” is all he says.

“Look, I want Athena to know you, but if you don’t want –”

“What?” His head whips up, shock on his face.

“I just…” she trails off. “I know this is a lot for you to take in, and if you need the time or just want to pretend this didn’t happen…”

“Pretend it didn’t happen? We have a child Clarke, you can’t just pretend she isn’t here.” He’s confused, and Clarke knows she needs to clear the air, she doesn’t want him to feel pressured anymore.

“I mean, I’m not expecting you guys to stay, or for you to want to be involved with her if you don’t want to.”

“Stop,” he cuts her off. “Clarke, our child is down there with our friends and Madi, who you also raised alone by the way,” he ignores Clarke’s protest. “She’s my kid, I’m her dad. I’m not going to abandon her. She’s not growing up how Octavia and I did, no way in hell.”

“Bellamy—”

“Stop, that’s the end of this conversation. We can figure out the details later, but I’m here. So get all of that nonsense about me walking away out of your head, got it? I’m staying right here.” He stares intensely at Clarke, who has to look away so he doesn’t see how red her face had gotten. “

Okay, if you want to be here and be involved, I’m not going to stop you.”

“Does Athena…” he pauses, the name of his child stuck in his throat, “does she know? About…where I’ve been? Where we’ve all been?”

Clarke sighs, adjusting how she was sitting on the step. “She’s only four, Bellamy. She knows who you are, but only from my old sketchbooks. The stories I told Madi, some of them I’ve told her, but I really don’t think she understands that you’re…real? She knows her Dad lives in the stars, but even that I don’t think she fully grasps at her age.”

“Right,” Bellamy clears his throat. “I just…I don’t want her to be scared of me. She seemed unsettled when she came out, but so did I.”

“I’m really surprised you didn’t faint,” Clarke smirks, and now it’s Bellamy’s turn to roll his eyes. “Madi always thought you’d faint, for her own amusement.”

“Very funny. But seriously, she’s only had you and Madi, and now she has…me and everyone else, and that’s not including the bunker once we get it open.”

“We’ll ease into it, okay? We have to do this at her pace. So just…don't feel discouraged if she doesn’t respond to you at first. She’s little, she needs time.”

“Yeah,” he nods, because suddenly, they have all the time in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed!!! your comments mean the world to me, thank you for the feedback and support! (also yes i don't like b*cho...so i may or may not have thrown echo under the bus oops.
> 
> find me on tumblr @accioharry!


	5. surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He feels his heart break. How can he explain to a child he just met, a child who’s faced so much trauma in her life, that he would never take her found family away from her?  
> “That will never happen,” he says seriously, and her eyes meet his. “I know you don’t know us, Madi, but none of us would ever leave you behind. Not in a million years.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's time for bell to meet his baby! when i tell you i cried writing this...anyways i hope you enjoy! i wish i had the ability to write better than this, but writing is all about practice, so it'll happen.
> 
> this chapter's song: surrender - natalie taylor

Bellamy wanted to get to know his daughter as soon as possible. The problem was, Clarke was in no hurry to introduce them.

He understood, sure, Athena was only four years old and her life has just been flipped upside down with everyone returning from the ring. Still, he felt as though he was missing out on valuable time, he missed the first four years, he wasn’t going to miss another second.

He’s standing on the porch of the cabin that Clarke had waiting for him, Echo off somewhere with Murphy and Emori. She hadn’t taken the news of Athena very well, and frankly, Bellamy didn’t have time to deal with anything that wasn’t his daughter. Part of him wanted to run to the bunker and get everyone out, but they didn’t have a plan. His head wasn’t used to having a daughter to think about, let alone two if you count Madi, which he did.

He had no jurisdiction over Madi, no blood relation to her, but he felt the need to protect her just as much as he did Athena. Perhaps it’s because she’s Clarke’s, a young child also living in isolation, but Bellamy wanted to desperately get to know them, both of them. In a sense, Clarke had moved on without him, and he was almost jealous of the family he never knew was waiting for him.

He nearly chokes on his drink, a tea made of some berries Monty found, when Madi comes up the cabin steps herself, a book tucked under her arm. Clarke had Athena napping in her cabin and promised an introduction once she was awake, but she didn’t give him a time frame to prepare for Madi. Considering how quickly she bonded with the others, Bellamy assumed it wasn’t anytime soon.

She stops at the other end of the porch, and her stare is so intense Bellamy almost thinks he’s looking at Clarke. He already knows Madi loves Athena and Clarke with everything in her, because he recognized himself in her, the same way he would give his life for his sister when he was Madi’s age. He doesn’t push her to come forward, if she just wants to have a staring contest, well that’s exactly what he’s going to do.

After an awkward moment of silence, Madi takes a few cautious steps forward, as though she was trying to decide if this was a good idea. Her hair was done in an intricate braid, and Bellamy could tell Harper had done it as she had done many times before for Echo and Raven on the ring to pass the time.

“Bellamy?” She finally acknowledges him after a couple more moments and he sets his cup down on the porch railing. “You’re really here,” her eyes widen, as though the events of the day finally caught up to her. “You came back, just like Clarke said.”

“I did,” he chuckles. “It’s nice to meet you Madi, I’m sorry we came down so late.”

She shrugs. “You didn’t know we were here, it’s okay.” She pulls the book out from under her arm, and Bellamy recognizes it before she holds it out to him, her hand shaking. He steps forward to take it, and he feels a rush of emotions staring at his old, worn copy of The Odyssey, a book he lost years ago, literally.

“Clarke found it, in the rover before Athena was born,” she starts cautiously. “She kept it under her bed for a long time, and then I found it…and she let me keep it.”

“She also said you named Athena,” he smiles and watches Madi’s eyes brighten at the mention of her little sister.

“She’s my favorite in the book,” she points to it. “I kept it, well Clarke kept it safe for you. I wanted you to have it back.”

He flips through the book, noticing little doodles that hadn’t been there before, and realizes Madi had personalized it over the years. It’s got pages falling out, the cover is torn, but it’s still here. The connection to a life he thought he lost forever.

“Are you mad at Clarke?” Madi says the question so fast, Bellamy takes a moment to register it.

“What?”

“I asked if you’re mad at Clarke, because of Athena,” he can tell Madi is throwing up walls, no doubt to protect her sister at any cost. Gosh, she is so much like him, it’s a little scary.

“No, Madi why would you think that?” He asks, dumbfounded. He sets the book down on the porch railing. “Did someone say something to you?”

“No,” she crosses her arms. “You walked away from them though, you left for the forest. We all saw it happen, so don’t say it didn’t.”

There it is. The confrontation required before Madi lets him anywhere near Athena. Again, it’s so similar to himself that it’s a little frightening and frankly, he almost wants to laugh at the irony of it all.

“Don’t tell me I won’t understand because I’m a child,” Madi continues. “I’ve been here longer than you, I know Athena better than anyone else here.”

Had it come from anyone else, Bellamy would’ve started a fight, but he can’t, because all he sees is himself.

“Madi,” he starts. “Did Clarke tell you about Octavia?” Madi opens her mouth to reply, but closes it and frowns. “Yeah, she’s the girl under the floor. Your sister.”

“Do you know why she had to be hidden all the time?” He continues, sitting on a chair. He motions for Madi to sit down on the other one, but she doesn’t move.

When Madi doesn’t answer, he continues. “Families were only allowed one child on the ark. If they found Octavia—”

“They would’ve killed her?” Madi asks, her voice soft. “Even if she was…a child?”

“They didn’t care about that,” Bellamy swallows, the anger from the past slowly inching up his throat. “They would’ve killed our mom, Octavia, me, it didn’t matter. When she got sent down here with the others, I knew I'd do anything to keep her safe like I've done my entire life, so I made sure I was sent down too.”

“To protect her,” Madi nods, "it just makes sense."

Bellamy smiles. “You would do anything for Athena, I can tell because when I look at you, I see myself. But Madi, I don’t want that for you. I don’t want you to grow up like I did, and I can tell you right now that Clarke won’t either.”

“You don’t even know me!” Madi protests. “They’re all I have, and…” she trails off, looking down.

“And what?” Bellamy presses on, hanging onto Madi’s every word.

She looks up, fresh tears falling down her face. “You’ll take them away from me,” she shrugs. “You’ll get the bunker open, have everyone back…and you have Clarke and Athena. You won’t need me.”

He feels his heart break. How can he explain to a child he just met, a child who’s faced so much trauma in her life, that he would never take her found family away from her?

“That will never happen,” he says seriously, and her eyes meet his. “I know you don’t know us, Madi, but none of us would ever leave you behind. Not in a million years.”

“I want to believe you,” she wipes a tear with her sleeve. “Clarke tells me to, but—”

“It’s okay,” Bellamy says softly. “It takes time, and if anyone understands that, it’s me.”

Madi nods, looking out from the porch. He can tell she doesn’t want to talk anymore, so he reaches for his tea again. It tastes terrible, but after algae for five years, he’ll have nearly anything.

“Do you think you could tell me some other stories sometime?” He turns his head to her when she speaks again. “I know Clarke did her best, but..” she trails off.

“I know she made them up,” he winces. “Tell you what, I think you should keep the book. It’s yours now.” He hands the book back to Madi, who clutches it to her chest. He starts to realize just how desperately she has waited to meet Clarke’s friends, the people she called family for so long that lived up in the sky. He also realizes how conflicted she is, because she’s terrified of being left behind.

“But,” he continues. “I would love to share some of the stories with you, once we’re all settled in. Does that sound okay?” Madi nods.

“Thanks, Bellamy,” she smiles. Her head turns when she hears Clarke in the distance, calling inside to Athena who had just woken up from her nap. “Come on,” she gestures towards Clarke. “Athena is awake now.” 

Bellamy’s legs feel like jelly, and it’s only when he’s down the steps and in front of Clarke’s cabin that he realizes that Madi had actually grabbed him by the arm to guide him as though he was the real child here.

He watches as she disappears inside and after a moment, he follows. It’s the first time he steps inside the cabin Clarke has called home for many years, and he feels very out of place. It’s not too small, but everything about it reminds him of Clarke. The drawings on the walls, the medical supplies high up on a shelf away from the kids, and even the furniture Clarke put together over the years.

It felt like home, a home Bellamy didn’t know he’d be welcome into.

He turns when he hears Clarke come from the small hallway, Athena following behind her, rubbing her eyes and dragging a stuffed animal. Clarke stops in her tracks, her breath catching. Madi ruffles Athena’s hair as she walks past them, disappearing around the corner.

“Hey,” Clarke puts on a smile, but Bellamy could see right through it. “Is everyone settling in okay?”

“Yeah,” he shrugs, hands in his pockets. “Raven took everyone to the bunker entrance, just to see what we’re dealing with.”

Clarke nods, biting her lip. He knows that she’s fully aware of the bunker situation, but both of them have put it on hold for now, letting their friends handle it while they were faced with the biggest challenge: a four-year-old.

“She’s still tired,” Clarke points at Athena, who’s staring at Bellamy with a curious look on her face, almost identical to Madi’s earlier.

“I really just…however you want to do this,” she gestures to him. She looks down when she sees Athena step out from behind her legs. She freezes, not wanting to do anything to upset her.

It’s the first time Bellamy gets a real look at his daughter. Her dark hair is the same shade as his, and it looks like Clarke had done it into a bun the night before, except most of it had fallen into her face. Her beige dress was a little big on her, which made her look so tiny to Bellamy. She was so small, he was nervous to approach her.

“It’s okay,” Clarke whispers, and Bellamy doesn’t know who she’s reassuring him, or Athena. She kneels down to their daughter’s height. “Remember what we talk about every night before bed?”

Athena nods, tilting her head as her eyes never leave Bellamy. “Stars!”

“That’s right,” Clarke encourages her, in a soft tone that almost brings comfort to him. He kneels down a considerable distance from the two, but still at Athena’s height. Even at her height, she’s still so small.

“Do you remember who used to be the biggest star?” Clarke nudges Athena, a soft smile on her face. “Who had the biggest star?” Athena looks at Clarke with confusion, but she just smiles and nudges her again. “Remember the big star?”

“Bellamy,” Athena turns to Clarke, although it sounds more like ‘Bell-mee’. “He lives up there,” she points to the ceiling.

Bellamy’s heart melts right then and there, his daughter thinking he was worthy enough to live in the stars.

“He lives with friends!”

“That’s right,” Clarke continues, Athena looking back at Bellamy. “Do you remember what I told you about Bellamy?”

Athena nods. Her face is scrunched up, as though she’s trying to figure out a complicated problem with an obvious solution. She looks at Bellamy again, and then to the wall. He follows her gaze to see old drawings of him, of all of them, on the walls in Clarke’s cabin. She wasn’t kidding when she said she told them stories.

A small gasp comes from Athena, and Bellamy turns his head to see his own bright brown eyes staring at him. Athena looks at him, and then points to the picture, looking at Clarke.

Clarke wipes more tears from her sleeves. “Yeah sweetie, you’re right,” she gestures to Bellamy, who hasn’t moved. He’s scared he’ll ruin this, ruin his relationship with his daughter before it even starts. “Bellamy’s here.”

Athena holds onto Clarke, but Bellamy hears her tiny voice clear as day. “Bell-mee?” Her voice is so soft but full of wonder at the same time, like a child on Christmas morning.

Clarke takes Athena’s hand. “Yeah baby,” she smiles through the tears. “That’s your Dad, he’s here now.”

It’s only when Bellamy smiles at her does he realize he’s crying too. “Hi Princess,” he says softly. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

Athena giggles, “Mama calls me Princess too!”

“She does? Well, your mom must know what a special nickname that is,” he says, and Athena hides in Clarke’s shoulder.

“Oh it’s okay,” Clarke sighs. “You don’t need to be shy.” Bellamy hears her mumble something to Athena, who nods.

“It’s okay,” he says. He feels envy at the bond Athena has with Clarke, and he has to remind himself that his daughter just met him.

“We’ll get there,” he nods.

“We will,” Clarke puts her head on Athena’s. “We definitely will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want madi and bellamy to be able to relate to each other more, since we were robbed of dad!bellamy and madi content in the show. did you catch the reference to a bellamy moment in season 2, i think it is? i love getting to add this references in, so let me know what you think!


	6. i'll keep you safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His eyes fall on Clarke across the way. She’s talking with Raven in a hushed tone, an intense look on her face. It didn’t surprise him to see how natural it was for Clarke to fall back into the group, in fact it felt like she never left. 
> 
> So how come he felt like the outsider?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hello i'm back! i'm SO sorry for leaving, but my life got super crazy, my mental health wasn't doing well, and I just had no desire to work on this fic. But I am back to work full time now, so updates will be a bit slower, but i'm back with another chapter and i hope you enjoy!
> 
> this chapter's title: i'll keep you safe - sleeping at last

“Well this looks like shit.”

  
Bellamy resisted smacking Murphy on the back of the head. The group had taken a trip down to the bunker just to see what they were dealing with. Raven told them the severity of the situation, but none of them truly believed her until they saw it themselves.

  
Bellamy felt torn at the scene in front of him. The rover caused a lot of dust when it pulled up, all of them barely fitting inside. Clarke had to show them where the bunker entrance should be, but also where it was covered with fallen debris from Polis. The stones were far too heavy to move on their own, and building equipment strong enough would take weeks, if not months. The desert landscape made the sun hurt their eyes, and they ended up finding shade next to the ruins of a local shop. They were already late getting back down, Octavia and everyone else he knew, they might not have months or weeks left down there.

  
His eyes fall on Clarke across the way. She’s talking with Raven in a hushed tone, an intense look on her face. It didn’t surprise him to see how natural it was for Clarke to fall back into the group, in fact it felt like she never left. So how come he felt like the outsider?

  
“We can’t do this on our own,” he felt Monty’s presence before his friend joined him. The ruins of Polis were just that—ruins. How could they move all the debris, and find a way for their people to climb out? What came after that, rebuilding?

  
“We don’t have a choice,” Bellamy replied. “Octavia is down there—our people are down there, Monty. We have no choice.”

  
Monty nods, turning away from Bellamy to face the wreckage. It pained Bellamy to know that they were quite literally standing above the rest of the human existence, and they had no idea what was going on down there. He watches Monty take careful steps before reaching Harper, who walks away with him. Their relationship had stood the test of time and space, and it passed with flying colors. Bellamy and Echo? Not so much.

  
She had been distant ever since she found out about Athena, and frankly, Bellamy didn’t have time for it. His number one priority was making up for the time he lost in Athena’s early years, and that was something Echo couldn’t understand. She had ended it fairly quickly, and to be honest, it didn’t surprise Bellamy when neither of them shed a single tear. It was always going to end, and he knew that. She chose to wander off on her own a lot, and Bellamy didn’t seem bothered by it, not when he had a four-year-old to worry about.

  
“Stop it!”

He turned around when he heard Madi’s voice. Madi insisted that she and Athena come to the bunker site, primarily because it was a bit of a journey from their village, and Bellamy sensed Madi’s uneasiness about the group being back. She wanted eyes on Clarke at all times, and Bellamy couldn’t blame her because to be honest, he felt the same way. It made sense, she was the mother of his child.

  
Madi was at the bottom of a large mountain of rock, yelling at Athena, who thought it would be fun to climb the side of it. He could hear Athena say something back to her older sister, but the sound was drowned out by the rock shifting slightly. He started to make his way down the small rock pile to get to them.

  
“Athena!” Madi cried. “Come back down!”

  
Bellamy looked around frantically for Clarke, but she was nowhere to be found. She might have gone back to the rover with Raven, but she didn’t tell him. Why didn’t she tell him Athena would do this? Why didn’t he have eyes on his own daughter? Why didn’t she?

  
“I’m okay!” Athena’s little voice sounded excited, totally unaware of the danger facing her if those rocks began to slide.

  
His heart shot up to his throat when he saw Athena’s foot slip. She caught herself, and Bellamy silently thanked Clarke for any sort of training she had incorporated into their child’s early years. They had never actually talked about that, about what the girls knew and what they didn’t, and he made a mental note to come back to that topic later.

  
“Clarke!” Madi turned around, calling for her mother figure. When she realized she couldn’t see Clarke, who probably couldn’t hear her over the wind, her eyes fell on Bellamy. Her eyes widened as she pointed up at her little sister.

  
“What is she doing?” He asked, nodding up at his daughter.

  
“Being stupid,” Madi huffed. He raised his eyebrows, looking at her. “She knows not to climb on things, but the second Clarke disappears, there she goes!”

  
_Yeah_ , he thought, _maybe the “act first, think later” trait came from him._ He winced.

“Athena,” his own child’s name still felt foreign to him. “Athena, your mom wouldn’t want you doing that.” Of course, he obviously didn’t want her doing that either, but Athena had yet to truly understand that Bellamy was her father. She didn’t even fully understand what a father figure was.

  
Athena’s eyes met his, and the look on her face reminded him of a very young Octavia, protesting having to go hide under the floor during inspections on the ark. She shook her head at Bellamy, continuing to climb.

  
“Athena!” He didn’t mean to shout, but for gods’ sake, this child wasn’t listening. “You need to come down, now.”

  
“No!” She yelled back, and Bellamy realized the true horror of parenting: a four-year-old with an opinion. Her eyes narrowed at Bellamy, determination set in her little face.

  
“I’m getting Clarke,” Madi sighed and took off at a jog.

  
“Athena, the rocks are moving. It’s not safe for you okay?” He lowered his voice, raising his arms almost in self-defense. He wasn’t scared of her, but he didn’t want her thinking he was a threat—because that’s just another thing to add to the never-ending list of problems.

  
He watched as Athena looked around her, noticing Bellamy’s observation about the moving rocks. She had gotten herself to sit on a small ledge, a ledge that definitely was NOT stable enough for a child. Her reaction went from curiosity…to almost fear.

  
“I can’t get down!” Her voice broke, and call it being a good dad, or terrified of dealing with an angry mama bear Clarke, but Bellamy needed to stop this now.  
“Yes you can,” he smiled, taking some steps forward to the bottom of the mountain. If she hadn’t climbed the extra bit when he first told her to get down, he would’ve still been able to reach her. He needed her to come down just a little bit, but how do you explain that to a four-year-old?

  
“You need to come off the ledge, okay?” He held his arms out. “Once you slide down a little bit, I’ll catch you.”

  
Athena just stared at him.

  
“Please?” He didn’t want to beg this child, but for crying out loud he was running out of options. “I’ll take you to your mom, okay?”

  
“Mama will be mad,” she shook her head. Bellamy chuckled.

  
“No she won’t, she’ll be scared because you climbed so high up, that’s all,” he smiled, holding his arms towards her. “Please, come down.”

  
He watched Athena glance around, weighing her options. Then, she did what Bellamy wasn’t expecting.

  
She jumped.

  
“ATHENA!”

He heard Clarke before he saw her. He didn’t realize he had Athena in his arms until he felt her wrap her small arms around his neck. He must’ve caught her without thinking. He felt her heartbeat against his chest, and he realized it was the first time he was actually holding his daughter in his arms. He grabbed her tighter.

  
“Athena, don’t ever do that again,” he mumbled. He felt her nod against his shoulder, and Bellamy made no move to set her down on the ground. Not when finally had his entire world in his arms.

  
“Athena!” Clarke came running up, Madi right behind her. She took Athena from Bellamy, setting her down on the ground. He didn’t realize he was shaking until Athena was out of his arms. That could’ve gone so differently, and the thought alone sent a chill up his spine.

  
“Athena Grace, what the hell were you thinking?”

He’s brought back to reality when Clarke raises her voice slightly at their daughter.

  
_Grace_ , he noted. Jeez, he didn’t even bother to ask Clarke if their child had a middle name.

  
Parenting: 1 Bellamy: 0

  
“I’m okay, Mama,” Athena smiled. She didn’t realize the heart attack she gave both her parents or the pure fear in Bellamy’s eyes when he saw his daughter leap with no boundaries. “Bellamy caught me and told me to jump.”

  
She still couldn’t pronounce his name, which might be the cutest thing ever except… _what?_

  
“Excuse me?” Bellamy kneels down to his daughter, turning her to face him. “I definitely did not tell you to jump.”

  
“You said you’d catch me!” She protested, crossing her arms.

Bellamy didn’t need to look to know Clarke was giving him a death stare.

  
“Athena,” he lowered his voice again, “I said you needed to climb down so I could reach you, not jump off the rocks, and especially without telling an adult first.”

  
“Princess,” Clarke brushed her hair out of her eyes. “You could’ve gotten hurt, and we would’ve been terrified.”

  
Athena nodded, looking down. “I’m sorry,” she hugged Clarke. “I’m sorry Mama.”

  
“I know,” Clarke whispered into her hair.

Bellamy could see that she was shaking, realizing she didn’t see Athena until she was probably already in the air. Athena wiggled, and Clarke let her go. She stood between her parents.

“You said a bad word!” She gasped. “You said…hell,” she whispered the last word. “You have to put a rock in the jar!”

  
Bellamy couldn’t resist. He started laughing, falling off his feet and onto the ground. Clarke would have a form of a swear jar with her children, because why wouldn't she?

  
“Athena,” Clarke rolled her eyes before chuckling softly. “I’m serious, you could’ve gotten hurt!”

  
“I’m serious too!” She stomped her tiny foot on the ground. “You said a bad word!”

  
“You have…a swear jar?” Bellamy laughed, but he quickly stopped when he saw Clarke glaring at him.

  
“And how long until you add to that jar Bellamy?” She was clearly joking with him, but his stomach still did flips when his eyes met hers. 

  
“Funny,” he countered, standing up. “We need to round everyone up back to the rover before the sun starts to set.”

  
Clarke nods, dusting off her pants as she stands up. She takes Athena’s hand to help her navigate the rocks on the ground, but Athena doesn’t want to go with her. Instead, she lets go and turns to Bellamy, raising her arms.

  
He looks at Clarke, taking a step back. Before today, Athena had made no progress in understanding Bellamy’s role in her life, and maybe she still didn’t understand. Yet every little step forward, no matter how little, was progress.

  
“Go ahead,” Clarke smiled.

He reached down, picking Athena up and holding her in his arms again. She tucked her head in his shoulder, wrapping her little arms around his neck. For the first time since landing on Earth again, Bellamy felt as though he had a purpose, that he actually did belong here with Clarke and their family.

  
He walked side by side with Clarke, and it wasn’t until Madi pointed it out when they reached the rover, that Athena had fallen asleep in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter wasn't edited perfectly, and i'm not entirely happy with it because it really is just the first draft, but i was so excited to have inspiration and to get this up for you all!


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